We all walk around this planet with inner pain. Many times, without understanding, our management mechanism for this pain manifests itself in the form of judgment.
We will never be happy until we release our pain and stop judgment.
Why? Because a judgmental way / thinking affects our happiness as well as our health negatively. It's
not just a mental thing. Pain, judgment and negativity can affect us physically because they lead to stress and, as we have learned, stress is the underlying cause of almost all diseases.
You may think that you are not obliged to judge others and that this does not apply to you, but being
judgmental can present itself in many forms, some of which may seem completely innocent. When
we realize and acknowledge that we are judging, we begin a path to discover our pain.
- Use your basic assessments as a tool to identify your own pain. It is very common to judge others
who embody an earlier injury with ourselves. Think about it. E.g. We may judge those "beautiful
girls" because we were in trouble with these types of people in our youth. Or maybe we judge
someone with great wealth and material success because we grew up poor. As a parent, we can
judge someone whose child behaves in an unacceptable way because it makes us feel better about our own parenting.
Looking beyond the need to make a quick judgment of why and what that lies behind that judgment can be a useful tool for identifying your own pain. Release your own perceived limitations. We often judge others that we perceive to have something we lack. By tearing them down, we feel better about ourselves.
One way to stop judging others is to deal with and heal our own uncertainties and remove the need to tear down others. If your self-esteem is healthy and you feel good, you do not need to raise yourself by stepping down others.
Remember, inner pain can hold you back in all areas of your life.
- Look at your own areas of uncertainty and work on the weaknesses. Work with the question why you are so quick to judge someone (although it is something that is seemingly harmless like rolling your eyes when someone puts in a perfect image on social media) and replaces those thoughts with self-reflection. You can even start a diary where you write down every time you judge. You may be surprised at what you discover about yourself through this practice.
- Be quicker to give grace than judgement. Sometimes we judge others for benign behaviors, while sometimes our judgments are reserved for the behavior of others we really dislike.
Although it is okay to recognize insensitive or destructive properties of others, judging is never healthy. Try to be empathetic and understand that that person is likely to act on their own pain and insecurity, just as you are when you judge them. It cannot change behavior but helps soften your heart, which in the long term serves you.